Dirty old bugger said: "
I prowl the interstate
checking up on trucker bait
make sure it's up to date
before they drop it on ya
truckstops with swinging chicks
gotta pass inspectors lips
that's how i kiss away my money

[chorus]
That's where my money goes
checking up on girlie shows
truckstops and coffee shops
are getting all the gravy
sweet things in sexy clothes
hot pants and panty hose
hot damn they almost drive me crazy!

I dig those groove clothes
one of these and one of those
ok from head to toes for a waitress occupation
I go for curvy chicks
built like a ton of bricks
what good's a frame with no foundation
I've got 'em coast to coast
stop when I need 'em most
hoss I don't mean to boast
but this ain't wood that's talking [What?? Ed.]
some dudes can walk the line
but I just date the hitching the kind
look hoss these ain't made for walking

[chorus]

Weekend in New Orleans
stripjoints and cajun queens
it's just beyond my means
to fly the coupon sunday
big man wants half a yard
won't take my credit card
hawk shop will get me out on monday

[chorus]"