About me
A fearsome giant, with x-ray vision and iron legs. I can often be found crawling up church spires, or ripping the hearts out of cattle with my laser-knife.
As a teenager, whilst I was studying at agricultural college, I was bitten by a young calf the had been exposed to radiation. Ever since then I have been coming to terms with my BOVINE-POWERS. I can disable foes with my piercing moo, or stare unervingly with one eye whilst chewing the cud. I have four stomachs, although one is now permanantly reserved for beer.
I am most famously known for constructing an electronic music track out of nothing but matchsticks and brown paper. When composing music I wear a tin-foil hat with a small slit on the side so I can focus on telepathic conversations with my muses.
for my next project, I am going to sail around the world on a small toy keyboard whilst playing the entertainer in the style of Les Dawson.
I must leave now, as my udder-sense is tingling
My Gear
EMU E5000
KORG KAOSS 1
Roland TR-707
YAMAHA SW1000XG
Lots of computery bits
various toy keyboards inculding the legendary Yamaha PSS780
PC Desktop:
Cubase SX3
Reaktor
Korg Legacy+Digital
Logic 5.5
MAX/MSP
Bidule
Absynth3
FM7
QuadraSID
Recycle
iBook:
Live5
SuperCollider
Pd
Bidule
Renoise
Papen Blue
and other thrilling stuff
ATTN: SIR/M
I am certain you will be surprised to recive this mail from me, indeed, I sincerely apologize for the embarrassment this might cause you. However, I wish to state, that it is sincerely necessitated by my present plight and I pray you will readily be of tremendous assistance.I am Mr. BEN CHRISTOPHER kuruneri, from Zimbabwe and the son of Mr Christopher kuruneri who until recently was the Honorable Minister Of Finance in the present Robert Mugabe Government in Zimbabwe.
Precisely, on The 24th of April 2004, the security goons of President Robert Mugabe in what was an excessive and unprecedented use of force arrested my father while still a Government Minister at our family house in Harare. He was arrested on the allegation that his building of
a Thirty Million Rand (i.e. US$ 8 Million) beach front mansion in Llandudno , Cape Town, South Africa was in contravention of Zimbabwe’s regulation on Foreign exchange control.Though, my father has repeatedly made it clear that he did not in anyway contravene this regulation, maintaining, that he was funding the housing project from funds he made through his business ventures and consultance work outside Zimbabwe prior to his becoming a minister, and that the funds were never held nor transferred from Zimbabwean banks, charges, are yet to be laid against him in a court of law. For the past weeks since his arrest, my father has been held in solitary confinement and under severe inhuman conditions in the gulag of Mugabe despite several efforts and calls for him to be charged before a competent court or be released.
However, my family is undoubtedly aware of the underlying political intrigue and vendetta that is involved in this case than meets the eyes. It simply has to do with my fathers uncompromising stance against the oppressive polices and unwholesome activities of President Robert Mugabe, besides, my father’s recent rising popularity within the ruling ZANU-PF party, and around the country and his touting as a possible successor to President Robert Mugabe. My family was aware, that Mugabe was very uncomfortable with this situation and knew, that it was matter of time before he moved against him, but, unfortunately, lest did we anticipated it in this most bizarre and barbaric manner.Being aware of Robert Mugabe’s anticidents, to say,that my father and the entire family entertain great concern and apprehension about his life and that of the other members of our family, is to state the obvious.It is obvious from his actions, President Robert Mugabe is out destroy the family both political,fiancial and otherwise.
Presently, I have moved with the rest of my family into South Africa, where we have managed to gain asylum. However, the tactic support for President Mugabe from the present South African Government, coupled with the proximity of both countries makes our continued stay and hope for a future in South Africa most risky and uncomfortable.In the meantime, I have been mandated by my father, to explore avenues and make every necessary arrangements immediately to move our only left fund, since others has been seized, out of this country and also make arrangements to resettle the rest of my family in any of such country. At present, i am desperately seeking your assistance
in helping me transfer the sum of Fitteen million five hundred thousand united dollars (US$ 15.5m) being the total sum deposited with a security and finance company here in Port Elizabeth South Africa to your country for viable investment.
Unfortunately, under the recent South African Financial intelligence center Act (FICA) and the
Exchange Control Regulations as a refugee i am highly constrained from personally transferring this money out of South Africa.However, this could easily be effected with the representation/assistance by a nationals of a different country apart from nationals of the Southern
African Development Countries, SADC, hence my writing.
For your assistance towards the successfully completion of this transaction, you will be entitled
to 15% of the total sum involved, a further 5% of the total money will be set aside to cater for the
expenses that might be encounteredin the course of the transaction, while the remaining 80%will be for my families investment purposes.Please then, could you be of any assistance in lieu of
this transaction, i kindly request that you contact me as soon as possible through the email address or telephone number below for further discussion.
However, against the backdrop of my safety and that of my entire family, I hope you appreciate more than ever the essence for the confidentiality of this transaction. I have attached at the end of this mail, some media reports concerning this present predicament of my family to aid you with further insight.
