The ride home
Author: owl on July 13 2007
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--> About an hour ago I was in my dad's car with 2 of my sisters, we were driving home from seeing the new Harry Potter film [movie : ) ]. I put on a really quite beautiful piece of music - 'Any Other Time' by Thomas Newman, (its in 6 Feet Under, American Beauty etc), this is what came from one of my sister's mouth:
"Dad, you've created a freak! Simon...don't you have any chart music? This hasn't even got a beat."
I'm pretty calm, alot of the time. But for some reason this hit a weak spot, I can't remember a time when i'd been more annoyed.

Sure, people have different music tastes, some don't even like music at all, but to disregard something without listening to it for more than 20 seconds, (and properly listening to it at that) -_-

And it sounds like i'm just pissy because she didn't like my music, it's not that at all. Tbh its more that she said "chart music", as if she's just spoon fed music and has no intent to actually find a music taste for herself. With people like Paris Hilton hitting the charts I really fear for her.

on top of this my life is like a swirling vortex of confusion, with influential people being people who shouldn't be influential, this in turn warping my sense of right and wrong, good and bad, realizing there are very few people I actually respect or like. how amazing and complex everything really is, looking up to the night sky to wonder at how vast everything is, putting your own issues into perspective, i suppose when you've just finished school for the last time and you've got weeks of no commitments or deadlines you start to get thinking. it feels like i've just woken up, really, for the first time ever, and my life until now has just been something like "the matrix".sometimes it's hard to relate myself even to my family because they go about their everyday lives, day after day, week after week, never letting off that there is anything bigger going on in they're heads. watching my sisters really just waste their lives away in front of a tv (no exaggeration), without any outside interests or hobbies. my mind is soaring over worlds :p (no drugs here) and there are so, so many things i want to do.

i'm going to Paris and around France with a friend in a week, which will be good, to get away from everything here. then i'm going to take up archery (the discipline involved is fascinating), and learn me some more defiance ohio songs.

it doesn't matter so much to me to achieve anything that people would look upon and congratulate me for, more so it matters that i can respect myself for the life i live and the person i am, truly.

i suppose em411 has been my outlet, you all seem to be intelligent people, and maybe you can connect with some of what i'm saying from personal experience.

if not i'll stfu xD
i had some more points but i've lost track of my thoughts
and the punctuation is slowly but surely disappearing
maybe i'm going crazy

and by the way, i'm a teenager, and its not one of those "teenage" things...
"ooh the world, ooh is anything real, omfg, :S"
no : P

i may just wince next time i look at this, be nice.
powel/bitbare...just try it ¬_¬
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Comments

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theres quite a lot of singer songwriter music that i enjoy - pretty lowkey, gently picked guitar stuff with kinda bare vocal sounds. Pisses me the fuck off when people go 'this is depressing'. Happens all the time. Same kinda thing I guess, that feeling of something you like being dismissed fairly carelessly?

theflame - i know a wonderful band for lowkey, gently picked guitar, know 'Kings Of Convenience'?

good blog name

Be Angry At The Sun
Robinson Jeffers

That public men publish falsehoods
Is nothing new. That America must accept
Like the historical republics corruption and empire
Has been known for years.

Be angry at the sun for setting
If these things anger you. Watch the wheel slope and turn,
They are all bound on the wheel, these people, those warriors.
This republic, Europe, Asia.

Observe them gesticulating,
Observe them going down. The gang serves lies, the passionate
Man plays his part; the cold passion for truth
Hunts in no pack.

You are not Catullus, you know,
To lampoon these crude sketches of Caesar. You are far
From Dante's feet, but even farther from his dirty
Political hatreds.

Let boys want pleasure, and men
Struggle for power, and women perhaps for fame,
And the servile to serve a Leader and the dupes to be duped.
Yours is not theirs.

You'll probably realise civilisation is built on the blood of people and it sucks worse, as you get older.

"this is depressing"

I'm with you on all this, man. At least with me, though, moments of clarity go away and I get caught up in something again and forget about it. This is good and bad.

Owl, Ill check them out, thnx

Albatrocity: for some reason the 'this is depresing' comment stays with me much more than any other comment made about music that I hear. I find so much beauty and honesty in raw but melodic pieces like, for example, Damien Rice's stuff that it kinda stings to hear it being discarded so quickly.

sometimes you can get really lonely if you care about music and want to pursue your ideas and visions. find yourself some people who like the same things you like. with the net it's now easier than ever and there are always people who think in a similar way as you do.
I have said to me on several occasions (bsr witnessed this once at a party I took him to) that I play music that "you have to sit and think really hard about". [not meant as a compliment]

The time bsr saw it was from a guy that only listens to simple, unchallenging, paint-by-numbers breakbeat that only sounds listenable on drugs. Well, even then its dull, repetitive, predictable and did I say "dull"?

It's the way a lot of people are: they don't like to be out of their comfort zone or to be challenged too much at any one time.

Don't be angry at your sisters because "we are all living in the gutter it's just that some of us are looking up at the stars" (Oscar Wilde)

"You'll probably realise civilisation is built on the blood of people and it sucks worse, as you get older."

Amen, bother. This feeling of frustration with mainstream music and the sheep mentality of most humans is what got me thinking at a young age. As you look deeper into the problems of our world - our civilization - it only gets more complex, more horrifying, and much more relevant.

Burn it.
Recent blogs: Bitstream 3x $275  

family+ music is a tough one. i've made so much music in the past 15 years, and my family has heard maybe 3% of it, and had little patience for that, even though i'd try to tailor the listening experience to them.

Maybe if you told her it's been on TV she would have liked it better?
You should feel good that she called you a freak - it means that your mentality is probably far from hers.
Many people (the majority I'd say) choose to go through life ignorant, oblivious, afraid, and judgemental.
Just seek out people that you respect, and don't give in to the temptation to 'go along to get along' - it always ends in tears!

I've had that same feeling man for a long long time. Especially cause a dream of mine was to change the face of music and have people enjoy the really good and creative shit.

I've come to a few conclusions since then and has really lead me down an inspiring path. I think it would be pages and pages of explanation to describe these conclusions.

The path tho is pretty much: I make music and all the music I make I believe.

This confidence allows me to work on a chart song sound and be happy with it, or a death metal song, or what ever I feel like song. I just like using my creativity to make music.

Now since I am already doing that and have been for years, what else do I want. I happen to want to live on my music, like most of us dream of. So I'm perfectly happy making a song that I feel like is targeted towards a specific crowd. Maybe your sister will listen to one of my songs some day on those charts, would be fucking nice right.

I don't know, i guess this relates less to you're blog in the fact that you are talking about disgust in the close mindedness of people around you. But hey, some people just aren't artists, can't condemn them for it.

young ppl seem very suseptable to cutural defenitions of whats popular and whats supposed to be good.

thinking for yourself comes later if at all, for many ppl.


oh and hardvolt, that live mp3 is so motherfucking amazing.. god damned it! its like your the conductor of a drum machine symphony.

get used to it. it gets worse. but then there a moments of sublime beauty. you got
the right idea going travelling. i just got back from france. it was brilliant.
travelling is when you are truely alive, eveything is new and fresh.

don't get down about your family. you'll meet plenty of people that you can share
things with, in your life, that will come. give it time and don't give in to the grind.

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