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Author: tantan on February 20 2008 Viewed 3652 times. 23 people liked this blog. You can rate it below if you haven't already.
People who enjoyed reading this: Fredo, mixedtape, DongleKong, ignatius, DrexonField, mechp, Roshi, jogn, atum, mapmap, sAMsKi, owl, filarion, Zanf, Unknownforce, doofgoblin, mlbot, lowlifi, license, molasar, jack123, bb01, deltasleep
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Mild irritation of the day.
Why do dumbshit corporate people say "lets talk offline" instead of "lets talk later"?
Why do dumbshit corporate people say "legacy products" instead of "old products"?
Why do dumbshit corporate people say "I'm out of cycles" instead of "I'm out of time"?
What is some of your favorite / most hated corp-speak?
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02/21/08
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nightowl
there are are no used cars anymore, they are "pre-owned".
you dont drink when you're thirsty anymore, you "hydrate"yourself.
you dont fire anymore, you just "downsize"
02/21/08
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flies
mixedtape said: " license said: "my low hanging fruit makes dirty fairly often."
HEYOOO!"
lol!
02/21/08
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jogn
oh yeah don't forget "action steps" & "deliverables"
my low hanging fruit consists of a jackfruit on a string attached to a pole swinging really hard.
"how you like them low hanging jackfruits, jack?"
which calvin is that? The one with the tiger?
02/22/08
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mapmap
fuck! i also forgot about using 'opportunities' to mean problems "she has a lot of opportunities"
and the phrase 'dialed in' for making sure things are set up properly.
02/22/08
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molasar
lets DO lunch
close the deal
phone the go-to guy
we need to downsize
(illegal sackings of workers - company usually knowing the government wont help those sacked to
prosecute their employers - which again is illegal for the government to to/be complicate in)
(adopting 'tard cathphrases from TV and doing it to death) wassup!
02/22/08
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jack123
god. this blog makes me want to become a caribou herder in Scandinavia.
or just become an ascetic.
02/22/08
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replicalex
can I slip one more in 'under the radar'?
02/22/08
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bb01
tantan said: "I feel like phoning these people and saying "Please Advise" at the end of every sentence."
o m hahaha - its so much funnier when you hear it play out in your head
with the voice of a conehead
02/22/08
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flies
molasar said: "l(illegal sackings of workers - company usually knowing the government wont help those sacked to
prosecute their employers - which again is illegal for the government to to/be complicate in)"
when is it illegal for a company to downsize?
02/22/08
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tantan
my favorite term for firing employees is the one I've heard from my UK co-workers "so-and-so has been made redundant." OUCH.
02/22/08
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monty
my manager asks me to "take ownership" of something nearly every day.
one day im going to take ownership of her spinal column.
02/22/08
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tantan
"Are you in thumbs up mode?"
I swear to god, from my current meeting
02/22/08
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Fredo
thumbs up what?
02/22/08
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p
I'm glad the people here at the advertising company where I work don't use lame corpo-speak. this blog has helped me to realize how good I have it.
I chock it up to most of the people around me being artists in their off-time.
02/22/08
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tantan
fredo - lol. That was the unspoken question in the air.
p - you're a fucker.
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