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Friends' computer troubles
StoreTags: jfgi, geek squad synd
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People who enjoyed reading this: Roshi, hecanjog, monty, yghartsyrt, delete, Zanf, crabster, Ochre, daswesen, BadWolf, zfigz, RRine, ignatius, EsromCole, breakscience, ejectorset, hardvoltnine, deltasleep, infradead, DerryGodo
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Seems like as soon as I meet someone and they find out I'm a "computer whiz" they suddenly get a look like a dog to a fire hydrant. It's not long before they start describing some stupid problem they're having because they're to lazy, ignorant, and stupid to use google or RTFM. Seriously, if these were interesting problems I wouldn't mind but they almost always involve an inkjet printer, a Linksys WRT54G, or Outlook. Fortunately I know nothing about Outlook.
Sometimes I wish I had a spine. I would just tell them to fuck off, to wipe their own asses. Every nerd I've ever known was self-taught. Maybe I just shouldn't tell people what my area of expertise is. Hard to avoid it when I'm at work, and that's fine cos it's on company time. But chrissakes, just cos I'm a PHP monkey doesn't mean I'm the volunteer geek squad.
I want to just start telling them I charge 50 bucks an hour, minus the number of the first google hit with the answer (25 minimum). What do you do? | |
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05/02/08
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Roshi
You just have to say no.
Or you can plead ignorance, just saying, "I don't really fix hardware, I just program computers".
I often lie (and some of them are doozies) to get out of doing the computer problem fix.
When my mom got an Apple, I made her get AppleCare...so I'm glad I don't have to do tech support for her. 
05/02/08
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Roshi
I'm just waiting for Zanf's response.
05/02/08
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hecanjog
I do tech support for my grandpa, and that's about it. It's fun with him since everything is very new - he's totally into just being able to resize a photo or something, so that's awesome.
I'd bad at saying no, but I've learned to be better at it. Either say "sure" and then quote a reasonable price like "cool, I usually charge $X an hour for this sort of thing." Or what Roshi said is a very good course too - just say "I donno!"
05/03/08
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jp
you can always say: i don't know a thing about vista. i am a linux guy.
05/03/08
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yghartsyrt
i know totally what you mean. i knew a girl (i didn't know know her that close – she was just a friend of a friend) but she used to call me in the middle of the night. i mean literally in the middle of the night like 3 or 4 in the morning asking me stuff about routers getting fixed or how to increase ones google hit ranking (really wtf)
besides that, it'S reat to live in a city where you barely don't know anybody. so most of the poeple who'd normally call, don't do it, for a reason i don't know (i guess it involves me and pee and stinking or such)
the only person i give guidance every now and then is my dad, but most of the time he learned a lot about google and such. plus i really like to help him.
i think the best way is to tell the people you went back to paper and pencil.
05/03/08
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license
Yes, I'm still but a grasshopper in the dark but essential adult art of Responsible Lying.
Thanks for the responses though guys
I like yghartsyrt's answer - plus I carry my moleskine everywhere so I can just bust it out when they ask and call it my computer. And savor the hollow disappointment in their hungry, beady little eyes.
05/03/08
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delete
someone woke me up today to tell me he found a program called virtuagirl or something installed on his computer and that he had no idea how it got there and asked for instructions on what to do. this person calls me at least once a week. people i've only seen once or twice like my girlfriend's sister's boyfriend's father think it's ok to call me any time they have a computer problem and they don't hang up until i've said 'i don't know' 100 times. it's worse when it's a relative because you can't just get rid of them.
05/03/08
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Zanf
Roshi said: "I'm just waiting for Zanf's response. "
Hahaha. Nice one.
I used to have every friend of a friend of a friend call me. In fact, it got that the only calls I got were "Hi Chris, Ive got this problem with my computer...." so I just started ignoring the phone. If I did answer the phone at all, I would just say that I was busy or just going out the door and on a deadline. The calls soon tailed off.
Ive recently had a mate who would come round with his laptop so I would sort it out. He would say the same shit that everyone would: "Nice one maaayyt. I'll sorrrrrt you out proper when I next seeee yaaaaaaa" but like everyone else he never would. It got that he would ring me whilst I was at work and start demanding that I called him back immediately so I had to point out that my company charges the client over £100/h for me and if he wants to match or beat it then Ill most certainly provide instant support during work hours.
The crunch with him came when he was round my flat one night and his hdd had fucked up so I sorted him a linux live cd just so he could get online. He then proceeded to sit there [in my comfy chair] for about 90 minutes, playing poker on facebook and going on and on about how to play it [like I fucking cared]. I finally got him to leave but then he called me as soon as he got home and I had to shout at him that I was in bed [it was 11.20pm] but that didnt seem to sink in as he called again at 12.50 - I ignored that call and every one of his since and every email and text he's sent.
I would suggest that you use diversionary tactics to put people off like saying "I only deal with systems/programming/administration/hardware/etc [delete where applicable] and [whatever they need] is a bit beyond my scope".
The other technique is to find out wehat they do and just start asking them for stuff all the time and see how the fuck they like it.
Basically, you need to get that "Im busy" thing going on and then they might start to see that your time is as precious as they think theirs is.
edited: May 03 2008
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crabster
Zanf: Good call. Some people just feel entitled I guess.
I really hate explaining things multiple times. So much that I go mildly ballistic when people don't get it on the third try. Not a good thing, I know, but it kind of helps in these cases. Besides, these days it's mostly people wanting me to "help" (read: do their job for them) with their home assignments anyway. How someone can sign up for a 5 year education in (mostly) programming and related topics and not want to learn the stuff still baffles me.
license: One strategy that I've employed in the past is telling people that I cannot help them remotely. If I cannot see the screen, I cannot solve their problems. Which is fairly true. It might backfire and you may well end up with people knocking on your door with broken computers at 3 am though, so be wary.
05/03/08
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drewzle
Zanf said: " He then proceeded to sit there [in my comfy chair] for about 90 minutes, playing poker on facebook and going on and on about how to play it [like I fucking cared]."
oh man, your tolerance here is amazing. i would've been under investigation if some chump did this to me
hilarious story though
05/03/08
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tantan
oh jeez I could go on for hours on this subject and relatives, inlaws, etc. but I won't and will instead cry inside at everyone else's stories.
05/03/08
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license
Awcmon, tantan. Do share
05/03/08
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ignatius
make a website w/common computer issues + fixes and just email the link to your friends. it could look like this:
link
05/03/08
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RogerRoger
When I was in Canada(a total of 20 months), the parents of the person I was renting from asked me to help them with their PC. This turned out to be the way I made good friends with the entire family, and not only did they give me multiple presents for Christmas that year, a month before I left, they gave me 70 dollars! And I swear that not only did I ask for nothing, the problems were mostly easy.
I don't have any friends around here now though that aren't already geeks.
I give my parents tech-support, but I gave them my old computer, so I'm really doing fix-ups for my own machine. My Mom even installed a NIC card by herself after I sent instructions, so they usually do fine with it.
05/03/08
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EsromCole
License, dood I totally sympathize. I took a vocational course on computer repair some years ago just to learn more about hardware. Well, now everyone thinks that I live to fix their computer problems. Here's a classic for ya. My uncle's friend Bill has a dire problem with his wife's computer. No matter what he does he can't get any sound from it (I'm sure you see where this is going already). So after many failed tries to explain possible solutions I finally drive way the fuck out to the sticks to have a look at his 8 year old Gateway. Yeah, the system volume was turned all the way down. Long story short, if I don't love them i ain't fixin shit without some cash. This is a bit assholish but sometimes I'll tell em I'm gonna fix it then blow em off. After doing that a few times they get it.
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