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Author: Fredo on June 12 2008 Viewed 3721 times. 29 people liked this blog. You can rate it below if you haven't already.
People who enjoyed reading this: reehc, Roshi, lematt, tylth, bodo, bla, mlbot, timmo, Moriarty, dimka, DrexonField, tantan, SenorFrio, quicks, Ochre, frnortnr, hecanjog, ignatius, jack123, zfigz, j_chot, eyesnine, energygiant, Tridact, astroid, xbaux, bbwax, sickmotion, jogn
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Maybe it's a bit late in the game to be attempting to build muscle mass, but, damn it, I'm sick of having grover body and avoiding taking my shirt off in the presence of another human being! (Grover body is skinny all over but with massive mid section. NOT attractive!)
A couple years ago I had some digestion issues and went on an insane diet, losing 40 pounds. It didn't solve my problem, and hell, at 140 pounds I was way too skinny, so I began to eat sugar and fun things again. I felt better! My symptoms subsided. Hooray! A year later I had gained nearly 50 pounds and got as fat as I have ever been in my life, approaching 190 pounds.
So, I have begun to train. And basically feel like a piece of damp cardboard set in a snowy driveway which has been warn down repeatedly by the wheels of an SUV. IT HURTS! 
I'm writing this blog to sort of make this more serious. Now I can't wimp out.
Note to bodo and jchot: make sure you get your child, when the time is right, to do some form of solid physical activity because it sucks to have to do this in your late thirties.
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06/14/08
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eyesnine
speaking of weird diets...
i ran out of cash when i was at school this year. one of my roommates had managed to procure an industrial size box of pillsbury blueberry muffin mix and it was in the freezer, and i was hungry. it was supposed to make 216 muffins, but the box only lasted me about a week. at first i was making large blueberry cakes, but i found that it was equally tasty as a kind of doughy ice cream treat.
06/14/08
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eyesnine
also, no weight gain to speak of (though i definitely didn't lose weight either, which was really the idea).
06/14/08
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RogerRoger
I find there are weird ways of getting a workout too.
I've been stacking my six-packs of beer in the apartment utility closet for almost a year. Because I'm about to move to my new house, I gotta throw 'em out. I ended up filling 10 of those super hefty bags with beer bottles, making it around 600 bottles, and had to move them downstairs, into the car and down to the recycling center. Strange workout, but effective.
Also, don't mow your lawn for a while and then mow it without the drive train on, assuming your motor can take it without burning up. Builds up the legs and stomach muscles.
06/14/08
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bla
my back is still fucked
sitting or lying both hurt me- i can walk but only slowly and carefully
i did some gentle 'dancercising' for about an hour today- listening to cube 40 and then group x
06/14/08
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tylth
this dude is showhing you his most wicked workout routine
link (starting at 3:00)
06/15/08
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ricemutt
my solution to weight problems: EXTRA HOLLANDAISE
06/15/08
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astroid
i like to play resident evil 4 on pro until i get frustrated and then maybe masturbate to take the pressure off.
that's a real man's workout
06/15/08
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Jetsom
astroid said: "i like to play resident evil 4 on pro until i get frustrated and then maybe masturbate to take the pressure off.
that's a real man's workout"
lol You've really done that ;)
06/15/08
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Fredo
yes, I wonder how many calories masturbation takes off. Doing a little google search it's quite up for debate. What do you think, Astroid? Are you up for a little controlled research? ;)
06/16/08
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bbwax
wow. i never knew there were so many exercise fanatics around here.
my advice would be to not just do aerobic work, but strengthening as well, then when you lose some of the middle section it's not just - a skinnier grover, but some toned and larger reshaped muscles. that will make a pretty dramatic effect on your appearance.
i'm also feeling the 30+ gain around the middle. i have started the following routine:
weights
boxing + core strengthening (w/ giant inflatable exercise ball)
yoga
rest day
repeat
i tell you what, boxing (working the heavy bag) is one of the best workouts i've ever come across. it really works your cardio system and your core/torso at the same time. good for letting off some post-work steam too. just play the rocky theme song over and over while you workout. that's the key.
if you want everyday practical strength i'd say concentrate on strengthening your core as much as possible. i'd say the best things for overall core strength are certain yoga moves and those giant inflatable exercise balls. i bought one that comes with a video that kicks my butt. a lot harder than it looks!
good luck fredo!
06/16/08
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Fredo
Thanks bb! What's the video?! Yes, I am working with an actual trainer using weights, so hopefully this is the kind of thing I will be doing!
06/16/08
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astroid
the experiment would have to be something like this:
two astroids.
one masturbates furiously for 6 hours. the other does nothing.
then, they are both incinerated, and we see which one gives off more heat.
that's the only real way to know caloric value.
06/16/08
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mlbot
Speaking as a scientist, incinerating just one you could potentially unveil a plethora of possible scientific discoveries or great importance.
06/16/08
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astroid
mlbot said: "Speaking as a scientist, incinerating just one you could potentially unveil a plethora of possible scientific discoveries or great importance."
What happens to an astroid burned?
Does it lock up
like a hard drive in the sun?
Or fester like a troll--
And then run and punch a tree?
Does it stink like butterzone?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a AFX BEATZ?
Maybe it glitches
like a heavy cpu load .
Or does it explode?
06/18/08
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Jetsom
astroid said: "the experiment would have to be something like this:
two astroids.
one masturbates furiously for 6 hours. the other does nothing.
then, they are both incinerated, and we see which one gives off more heat.
that's the only real way to know caloric value."
As long as you don't end up with the gush, that will probably be of scientific value. Well, I suppose if you went into the gush, you'd just be a martyr to wanky science.
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