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a FAQ for ariel\\\'s dogs

GORDON FAQ:

q: where does gordon like to poop?

a: he is very picky about where he likes to poop. he tends to choose a different area everytime, about a mile away from the house on a walk. sometimes the person walking gordon will be able to suggest spots for him. bear in mind there is no template for a good spot-sometimes the area is grassy, sometimes he like to poop in a bush. mostly, he likes the poop to be out of the way. we think this comes from when he was a young puppy, and the people at the farm where he used to live would throw things at the giant pack of rotweiler puppies when they started to poop somewhere where they could see.

q: why does gordon act like he\\\'s been abused?

a: we\\\'ve been trying to figure that one out forever. ariel\\\'s had him since he was 6 weeks old, and she doesn\\\'t hit animals. probably it has something to do with him being a runt in the litter-all his brothers were big dopey rots, and he has a more slender lab appearance, so he probably got his share of beatings in the womb. he\\\'s mercurial.

q: why does gordon \\"do bitings\\"?

a: we think that\\\'s his nervous response to everything. although, it may have its root from when ariel was in college, living with a bunch of dirty hippies with fleas.

q: why does gordon get \\"stinkface\\"?

a: he likes to diguise himself from bigger dogs. he thinks \\"i\\\'ll just smell like a nice dead bird and nobody\\\'ll know i\\\'m here\\".

q: what are some ways to address gordon?

a: \\"best boy\\" sometimes pronounced \\"bist buwey\\" as in \\"he IS bist buueey\\". \\"speak boy,\\" \\"stink face,\\" \\"peanutbutter eyebrows,\\" \\"dancing peanutbutter,\\" \\"puppycakes,\\" \\"best swimming boy,\\" and \\"a real best boy\\" are also acceptable.

q: why does \\"his lip get all messed up\\"?

a: sometimes, when he\\\'s very focused, like on \\"some fishes\\" or a nice work of art, he\\\'ll close his mouth carelessly and get a hanglip.

q: what are some of the grammamtical subtleties i need to know to communicate with gordon?

a: he can spell, but only a few words like \\"w-a-l-k\\" and \\"l-e-a-s-h\\". also, present tense and third person are usually prefered such as \\"gordon goes to the puppy park\\" and \\"gordon wants a treat\\". however, the grammar is always in dispute.

q: what kinds of music does gordon like?

a: the more off-the-wall, the better. he especially likes conlon nancarrow and karlheinz stockhausen. seriously.

OLIVER FAQ:

q: why is he so goddamn cute?

a: because he has no soul.

q: why doesn\\\'t he have a soul?

a: because he\\\'s so goddamn cute.

q: is he a girl? is he a miniature lassie? OMF HE\\\'S SOOOO CUTE

a: no, kind of, he\\\'s the devil.

q: where does oliver like to poop?

a: in the same spot in the neighbor\\\'s ivy every day.

q: why does he get up all indignant when i sit next to him?

a: because he\\\'s a little bastard.

q: what kinds of music does oliver like?

a: pop music, like kelly clarkson and ashlee simpson.

q: can i pet him?

a: you can try.

q: is he really that cute?

a: you\\\'d want to drop an anvil on him.
My Gear
fat man
little shirt
Electronic Music other: my ideal sampling box
Store Written January 12 2009  
a box.
looks something like an mpc.

two sections- one to hold eight slots of samples. these have four knobs, one for start point, one for end point, one for playback rate, and one for a sample-coupled cv/midi automation lane. the playback rate control is switchable from linear to metric (1/2, 2x, etc.). they also have a pad.

each has a break-in/out section with midi and audio controls. you can run analog gear into it because each of the four knobs is capable of being cv'd. whatever sample you are editing shows up on the screen.

the sample-coupled automation lane is for triggering external fx. touchscreen. you can place markers for cv triggers, or draw an automation in midi cc.

you can record into any slot realtime, and the waveform shows up on the screen buffered as you record. you can overdub or replace each slot seperately, realtime.

there's a simple onboard sequencer with just a simple grid, kind of like bhaji's loops. xox sequencing with a few automation lanes. that's a seperate screen, also touchscreen.

ok world. hop to it:/
Comments
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i also want a backrub
Balls.

Also: DIY, assface
now i just want a hug
(Crystal) Ball says: I see in your future great disappointment and many more years spent with Pro Tools.
Recent blogs: Re-amping Mic, How do you do it?  
t(-.-)t

more likely something like kyma.
x0x is teh best evah.

Think I'll download floops now. Is it free yet?
yeah i guess all i really need is a good interface between the digital audio and analog audio worlds.

that'd make more sense than some chunky hardware.
You forgot the built-in cupholders and ashtray.
I was thinking about this the other day , actually.

What *I'd* like is basically the sp404, but with a better readout. I want to SEE the waveforms, and do some soundforge-style editing of said waveform. usb to connect to pc. better fx routing options. that's it, really.

It's already such an elegant machine to use.
how about audiomulch (or puredata) plus a bcr2000?

and as for the hug: link
you just need one of these then

link
link

Sleek design and styling with customizable “Paintz” and “Grillz” no less
hahaha... what? The Zoom MPC? Hey, ya never know.
But yeah ... I can't see there being a nice new sampler anytime soon... no market.
$TRATE LOOT!N FA SHIZ

link
holy crap, best video ever... form outa space!!!

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