LA, California, USA
a FAQ for ariel\'s dogs
q: where does gordon like to poop?
a: he is very picky about where he likes to poop. he tends to choose a different area everytime, about a mile away from the house on a walk. sometimes the person walking gordon will be able to suggest spots for him. bear in mind there is no template for a good spot-sometimes the area is grassy, sometimes he like to poop in a bush. mostly, he likes the poop to be out of the way. we think this comes from when he was a young puppy, and the people at the farm where he used to live would throw things at the giant pack of rotweiler puppies when they started to poop somewhere where they could see.
q: why does gordon act like he\'s been abused?
a: we\'ve been trying to figure that one out forever. ariel\'s had him since he was 6 weeks old, and she doesn\'t hit animals. probably it has something to do with him being a runt in the litter-all his brothers were big dopey rots, and he has a more slender lab appearance, so he probably got his share of beatings in the womb. he\'s mercurial.
q: why does gordon \"do bitings\"?
a: we think that\'s his nervous response to everything. although, it may have its root from when ariel was in college, living with a bunch of dirty hippies with fleas.
q: why does gordon get \"stinkface\"?
a: he likes to diguise himself from bigger dogs. he thinks \"i\'ll just smell like a nice dead bird and nobody\'ll know i\'m here\".
q: what are some ways to address gordon?
a: \"best boy\" sometimes pronounced \"bist buwey\" as in \"he IS bist buueey\". \"speak boy,\" \"stink face,\" \"peanutbutter eyebrows,\" \"dancing peanutbutter,\" \"puppycakes,\" \"best swimming boy,\" and \"a real best boy\" are also acceptable.
q: why does \"his lip get all messed up\"?
a: sometimes, when he\'s very focused, like on \"some fishes\" or a nice work of art, he\'ll close his mouth carelessly and get a hanglip.
q: what are some of the grammamtical subtleties i need to know to communicate with gordon?
a: he can spell, but only a few words like \"w-a-l-k\" and \"l-e-a-s-h\". also, present tense and third person are usually prefered such as \"gordon goes to the puppy park\" and \"gordon wants a treat\". however, the grammar is always in dispute.
q: what kinds of music does gordon like?
a: the more off-the-wall, the better. he especially likes conlon nancarrow and karlheinz stockhausen. seriously.
q: why is he so goddamn cute?
a: because he has no soul.
q: why doesn\'t he have a soul?
a: because he\'s so goddamn cute.
q: is he a girl? is he a miniature lassie? OMF HE\'S SOOOO CUTE
a: no, kind of, he\'s the devil.
q: where does oliver like to poop?
a: in the same spot in the neighbor\'s ivy every day.
q: why does he get up all indignant when i sit next to him?
a: because he\'s a little bastard.
q: what kinds of music does oliver like?
a: pop music, like kelly clarkson and ashlee simpson.
q: can i pet him?
a: you can try.
q: is he really that cute?
a: you\'d want to drop an anvil on him.
Electronic Music discussion: Oh hi I'm still banned from six months ago
Written January 21 2011
Can't respond to anything anyone posts. I was banned for reference to a certain diarrhea-based internet meme. 6 MONTHS AGO. The banning was supposed to be for a couple of hours. It says that on my page when I look at it.
I wrote boggy, explained to him. He said "I'll get right on that"
And here we are. Don't ask me anything, I can't respond. I can post blogs, however. Maybe I'll answer all questions by starting another blog.
Hi astroid. Why is em411 so dead?
deltasleep said: "Hi astroid. Why is em411 so dead?"
probably because of things like this.
hi! i love your banned Big Dog™ ways.
at least the poop still works
So you could make a new account or send death threats to the admin. Choose.
Please blog all every things astroid.
I know you can't reply, but have you tried using this?
em411 without astroid is like sex without diarrhea.
or a fish without a bicycle. i am just trying to get also ban.
because if you can't say diarrhhheeeesaaa, then it's not my
kind of website.
alternately, you could make up a new name, like fuckingmeteoroids@!
I hope you are able to relish the power of being on the Outside. For some reason, Philip K. Dick's obsession with the autistic-like perspective of the outsider has predicted a strange trend in modern life, in which sentient beings detatched from the "web" hold the greatest amount of power. Sort of like the person who refuses to go onto Facebook somehow being more valid than everybody else. While you are out there, please give my hellos to Congresswoman Giffords, for whom the entire nation is waiting to re-attach to . . . also, please ask New Order to start making electronic music again.
Are you still able to download VST plugins on the Outside? Do you know that there are things called Apple stores now in many neighborhoods?
let's discuss generative banning algorithms.
faaaat maaan in a liiitle shirrrrrt!
I’m glad you’re back. Banning people really bothers me. Even Pawell types with a tendency towards racist trolling are better dealt with head on, with words.
Now on to your release…
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