LA, California, USA
About me
a FAQ for ariel\\\'s dogs
GORDON FAQ:
q: where does gordon like to poop?
a: he is very picky about where he likes to poop. he tends to choose a different area everytime, about a mile away from the house on a walk. sometimes the person walking gordon will be able to suggest spots for him. bear in mind there is no template for a good spot-sometimes the area is grassy, sometimes he like to poop in a bush. mostly, he likes the poop to be out of the way. we think this comes from when he was a young puppy, and the people at the farm where he used to live would throw things at the giant pack of rotweiler puppies when they started to poop somewhere where they could see.
q: why does gordon act like he\\\'s been abused?
a: we\\\'ve been trying to figure that one out forever. ariel\\\'s had him since he was 6 weeks old, and she doesn\\\'t hit animals. probably it has something to do with him being a runt in the litter-all his brothers were big dopey rots, and he has a more slender lab appearance, so he probably got his share of beatings in the womb. he\\\'s mercurial.
q: why does gordon \\"do bitings\\"?
a: we think that\\\'s his nervous response to everything. although, it may have its root from when ariel was in college, living with a bunch of dirty hippies with fleas.
q: why does gordon get \\"stinkface\\"?
a: he likes to diguise himself from bigger dogs. he thinks \\"i\\\'ll just smell like a nice dead bird and nobody\\\'ll know i\\\'m here\\".
q: what are some ways to address gordon?
a: \\"best boy\\" sometimes pronounced \\"bist buwey\\" as in \\"he IS bist buueey\\". \\"speak boy,\\" \\"stink face,\\" \\"peanutbutter eyebrows,\\" \\"dancing peanutbutter,\\" \\"puppycakes,\\" \\"best swimming boy,\\" and \\"a real best boy\\" are also acceptable.
q: why does \\"his lip get all messed up\\"?
a: sometimes, when he\\\'s very focused, like on \\"some fishes\\" or a nice work of art, he\\\'ll close his mouth carelessly and get a hanglip.
q: what are some of the grammamtical subtleties i need to know to communicate with gordon?
a: he can spell, but only a few words like \\"w-a-l-k\\" and \\"l-e-a-s-h\\". also, present tense and third person are usually prefered such as \\"gordon goes to the puppy park\\" and \\"gordon wants a treat\\". however, the grammar is always in dispute.
q: what kinds of music does gordon like?
a: the more off-the-wall, the better. he especially likes conlon nancarrow and karlheinz stockhausen. seriously.
OLIVER FAQ:
q: why is he so goddamn cute?
a: because he has no soul.
q: why doesn\\\'t he have a soul?
a: because he\\\'s so goddamn cute.
q: is he a girl? is he a miniature lassie? OMF HE\\\'S SOOOO CUTE
a: no, kind of, he\\\'s the devil.
q: where does oliver like to poop?
a: in the same spot in the neighbor\\\'s ivy every day.
q: why does he get up all indignant when i sit next to him?
a: because he\\\'s a little bastard.
q: what kinds of music does oliver like?
a: pop music, like kelly clarkson and ashlee simpson.
q: can i pet him?
a: you can try.
q: is he really that cute?
a: you\\\'d want to drop an anvil on him.
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Written September 23 2006 , Tags: NSFJDG
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this is a classic track which i remixed last night (just eq and levels-it was real muddy). it's originally from like 2k3
lyrics:
"eating steaming globs of shit,
and huckin' babies off a cliff
I'm a victim of the pacifists,
a pale rider on apocalypse
men are dangling by their mouses
the octopi who sold them out
open, like tin cans, the houses
and murder flowing from the spout
burning cars the highways choking
ring thy world, knot of flesh.
son of conquest, ashes smoking,
light the flesh-oiled fires of death
mesmerize the blinking planet
a billion lies for every tounge
time-warner GE and gannett
bleach the slaughters from the rug
no farms no schools no resistance
for corporations and their slaves
no history, only instants,
and snapshots of a million graves"
that rippin' guitar solo, yeah i played that. i think i clocked it at some 1000bpm. take that yngwie!
Comments
09/23/06
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kombineziena
that was FUNtastic! made me smile lol
09/23/06
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mlbot
reminds me of old Meat Puppets, which is rad.
Until the end, when it sounded more like new Meat Puppets, which is rad.
09/23/06
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mlbot
except it could use some whistling to really get that Meat Puppets ripoff sound.
09/23/06
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DrexonField
hellz yea! love it 
09/23/06
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energygiant
hahah love those vocal harmonies
09/23/06
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jdg
no
pls
god
09/23/06
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fakeBlooper
09/23/06
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Squeal
lol @ guitar solo.
reminds me of nofx, without that nasty Fat Mike vocal style.
09/24/06
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filarion
fun, love it, just my kind of rock!
09/24/06
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monkvolcano
forget yngwie.. i only wish coltrane could hear this.. I think if he were still alive today, he would've switched to guitar and done pursued the sound you've achieved in this solo.
but really the lyrics are great.
09/24/06
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Adjective
thumbs sideways until i hear a wolf howling during that quiet part after the solo
and at the end too
09/24/06
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sprouts
enjoyable.
09/24/06
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astroid
mlbot, i totally didn't realize it was meat puppets until last night.
i agree on the wolf howls.
haha i tagged nsfjdg
09/24/06
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astroid
thanks all who support questionable music!
09/24/06
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kidko
OMG YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
<Butthead>ROCK!</Butthead>
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